I’ve been back in the States almost a month now. I’ve planned my next moves and am still undecided. For now, I’m staying in Minnesota, mostly to spend time with my family and friends. I knew I would miss them, I missed them when I moved to Georgia, but I didn’t realize how much I needed them. There was a void I didn’t even know that needed filling.
I feel like I’m always on the move, always running, always working, never still and always focused on ‘what’s next.’ When I left in June I had mixed emotions, my closest friends were dealing with stressful issues in their families that was impacted their health and happiness. I had my own issues but I needed a change in environment. I decided that whether I stayed or went it wouldn’t put a stop to any of the challenges they were facing but being here and being able to physically comfort them has helped me too. I only planned on staying long enough for my daughter to get settled with her dad for a few weeks and then I was going to head back to Georgia solo but after really thinking about why I was going back to Georgia – not to discount the friends and relationships I’ve built there – the main reason I wanted to go back was for something (one) that wasn’t worth it. Being around people that love me, support me, and care about me fed that yearning, the void, the loneliness that I had been feeling while traveling, so I’m in no rush to get back to Georgia but I really don’t want to stay in Minnesota, at least not for the remainder of winter. This is where the indecision comes into play.
There are no strangers here…
Even though our year only lasted six months I was able to take away a lot from the experience. I am extremely introverted. I like my small, count them on one hand, group of friends. I prefer staying in and reading then going to a social hour. I work better on my own than in a team. I’m not an introvert because I’m shy. I’ve found that I have a lack of trust when it comes to people. I’d rather sit back and observe and catch someone’s vibe before I accept them in my life. Why? Because, like most, the people I’ve trusted have been the same people that have hurt me the most so I’m conscious of who I allow in my life. Traveling forced me to trust people, strangers. I couldn’t think everyone had a hidden agenda and for the most part all of the strangers I met were beyond helpful.
When I learned that Trump would become our next president I didn’t even want to come back to the States, amid all the reports of random attacks on non-European Americans coming back didn’t seem very enticing. However, what I expected when I returned was nothing like the scenarios that had played out in my mind. Everywhere I’ve gone people have been nice and rather than thinking, “Oh they’re trying to make up for their racist counterparts,” I’m able to just accept it as people just being good and kind. I’ve even been open to meeting ‘strangers’ and seeing them as potential friends/acquaintances. I have a no found trust in others.
My plan while traveling was to build my business but I there were times when I couldn’t work. I could work but I was so focused on my current entrepreneurial path that I didn’t/couldn’t focus on my real passion. I learned a lot about being a digital nomad. The more time I spent not working the more time I had to concentrate on what I really wanted to do. I was focusing on getting more students, creating lesson plans, and marketing. I was focused on income not inspiration. I was putting my projects off because I was focused on the immediate need. I finally made a goal for 2017 and that’s to complete at least one project and make it my priority. I need to invest in me and go after what I love.
I have a few trips planned for the year and am happy to just go at a ‘for now’ pace. I’ll figure out where I am going when I get there.