I’m two weeks away from leaving. These past two weeks have flown by and I’ve barely had time to catch up with myself. I thought I would get to MN and relax and focus on the last few things I need to complete before we leave but really I’ve just been visiting everyone and sleeping. I have one last trip to make before I leave…I’m going to Vegas with my Pudd this weekend. When I get back I plan on going into seclusion so that I can put the finishing touches on this first leg of my journey.
In those two weeks I traveled to see my dad. The last time I saw him I was ten but my daughter was convinced she only had one grandad (her dad’s dad) and one grandma (my mom). Neither her dad nor I grew up with both of our parent’s present in our lives. Her dad just reconnected with his mom so when we got to MN she gets to meet his mom for the first time too.
I’ve had a lot on my mind. Just thinking about the people we allow in our lives. Their purpose. How to rebuild/reconnect, etc. I’m bound to meet people while I’m traveling and if I’m willing to let these new people in my life I feel I should be open to rebuilding old relationships that could be mended. I just don’t know where to start. I want to trust that people can change but their past actions towards me make me falter every time I try to take that step.
Sometimes, I just feel like I’m always running.
Somedays, I want to be still.
Right now, I just feel like leaving.